To Butt Dial or Not to Butt Dial...

Wouldn't it be nice if we actually had the option? But no, that's not how butt dialing works. It's completely out of our control. To date, I've had your basic every day interaction with butt dialing. The most traumatic experience I had was back in college (by that, I mean the first go around at college, since technically I'm still in college).

Anywho, this was about five years ago back on the East coast. I was down the hall in my friends' dorm. A bunch of us we're hanging out. I look down at my phone and realize it was calling my grandparents, no it was in the middle of a full on 3 minute conversation with them. No biggie right? Except that it was 2 am. Biggie!

My immediate reaction was to hit end and hit it again and again. Then I prayed. I prayed they hadn't heard the phone or that the connection didn't really go through or that maybe someone somewhere else in the world had butt dialed them at the same time and the calls cancelled each other out. God answered with D, none of the above (which He sometimes does as He has the right to). The next thing I know, my phone is ringing. Yup, they're calling me back. Crap.

Now, my grandparents are pretty cool people and I knew this incident wouldn't threaten their love for me, however I did fear for my likability numbers. My call to them had gone on for over a minute, which meant that likely, on their end, the phone rang, waking them from a peaceful slumber, forcing one of them to get out of bed to answer the phone, and scaring them half to death when they could hear me on the other end but I wasn't answering their “hello, hello's.”

I don’t particularly remember what happened after I answered, but five years later they still talk to me so I probably didn’t need to get as stressed out over the whole thing as I did.  In the years since, myself and my cousins are often at the other end of my grandfather’s butt dials, but that's another story for another day ;)

There have been several over the years, my favorite happened last year. I pocket dialed my cousin while he was in Florida. I was here in California and it was before midnight, meaning 3am for him. I had just concluded a probably somewhat inappropriate conversation with my friend and ended it by telling  her to “chug chug chug” her beer. I then looked down at my phone, realized I’d been on with my cousin for a good solid minute and fifty seconds, and thought, "wellll, he’s going to have an interesting voicemail when he wakes up."

So where am I going with all this? Well this morning, I received a phone call, at 4:30 A.M. There I was, fast asleep, in my cozy comfortable bed, dreaming of Blake Shelton taking off his... well dreaming, and all of a sudden Blake’s phone started ringing. Nope, dream ruined, it was my phone, and it was still dark out. My immediate thought was somebody died. My cell phone is off, my parents couldn't get me on it, so they're calling me on my apartment phone to tell me someone died. Crap.

I got out of bed and walked ALL the way to the other side of my apartment. (It’s not that far) I looked at the caller I.D. and temporarily relaxed because I knew I didn't have any Jewish relatives. I mean none that I currently know of. So in the process of 4 seconds, I decided whoever is on the end of this phone call is going to get it. It's 4:30 am you stupid solicitors. Usually they get the polite, “thanks but I'm not interested” Lauren. Today, they were not going to get that Lauren.

So I answer the phone and low and behold it was a......

Yup, a baby. A real life goo goo gagaing baby. I heard buttons get pushed, drooly giggles, and then, who I assumed to be, the parents react rather quickly when they realized their baby was playing with the telephone. They, of course, promptly hung up on me.

Immediately I added “get butt dialed by a baby” to my bucket list and then crossed it off. That counts right? I mean I’m sure if I had thought it up first it definitely would have been something I wanted to have happen. However, it did inspire ANOTHER addition to the list: Use my future baby to prank call people.

Xo,
Lauren

He Was There

It’s taken me a while to find the words to capture how I feel about what happened in Newtown last week. Then I realized that’s just it. There aren’t any words, they’re will never be any words. What happened to those children and their teachers is unspeakable. Broken hearts were felt around the world by people who didn’t even know the victims.

Of course in the days that followed, everyone had an opinion about why it happened, what could have been done differently, and what needs to be done to change things in the future so that it NEVER happens again. There were conversations about gun laws, mental health, and the amount of violence we expose children to through movies, music, video games, and every other kind of media outlet.

I only reacted negatively to one thing that I kept hearing over and over. There are these “notes from God” circulating around the internet. I've posted a picture to the left, so take a second and read it. While searching for it, I saw  there are even t-shirts. I get it, I do. People are angry that the same people that want to remove God from these environments then blame Him whenever something horrible happens.

My problem is this... the subtext of that message is saying that people have the power to tell God where He can and cannot be, and implying that He wasn’t at Sandy Hook Elementary School last Friday.  That’s the furthest thing from the truth and it's the wrong message to put out there. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that God was there, that His arms were wrapped around those twenty six people as their last breaths were taken that morning.

God’s presence is more than just a word in the pledge of allegiance or an audible prayer. Just because people say they don’t want Him in public schools, does not mean God draws a line at the entrance and makes sure not to cross it. God doesn’t work that way and I for one, am grateful. My prayer is that people don't use what happened as an excuse to blame God, but rather as a reason for why we so desperately need Him.

“Am I only a God nearby,”

declares the Lord,

 “and not a God far away?
Who can hide in secret places
  
so that I cannot see them?”

declares the Lord.
  
“Do not I fill heaven and earth?”

declares the Lord.
~ Jeremiah 23: 23-24

Xo,
Lauren

Calling All Baby Daddies

I love surprises. Love, love, love them! This is especially true when I am the one doing the surprising.  I try to do this every so often. My idea of a good surprise is flying back home to the East coast without anyone knowing. I’ve managed to pull this off a lot.  The best time was when neither of my parents knew.

Usually my mom is in on the surprise, but this time I literally knocked her off her feet :)

One such trip home, I went to see my grandma.  I never quite know if its a good idea to surprise her this much. She’s getting on in years and I’m pretty sure being responsible for a heart attack would kind of overshadow my whole surprise thing.  It turned out okay and she was excited to see me, but she couldn’t just leave it at that.

Generally people with CSS (Chronic Singlehood Syndrome) are mostly immune to the kinds of comments my grandma was about to make and are generally able to laugh them off.  You may not have guessed (bless your little heart if you didn’t) but I am a part of the aforementioned people.

I spent the next hour convincing her that, “No Grandma, I didn’t come home to surprise you because I got engaged.”  “Yes, Grandma I’m still single.”  “You’re right Grandma, it COULD happen someday.”

We finally moved on to others kinds of chit chat but only after I had convinced her I would try my best to have children while she was still on this earth.  I think I still have a bit of time before I start placing adds in the personals for a baby daddy.

So back to present day. I’m sitting in my apartment, hard at work, being a studious.. well... student and definitely not thinking about the above memory when my phone rings.  As I get ready to answer the phone and chew out the solicitor on the other end for interrupting my devout study time, I sighed and decided to just be nice for once.

Well it paid off... almost.  After establishing I lived locally in the San Francisco area, I was told my number had been selected to win two free round-trip tickets to anywhere in the country. (I know what you’re thinking, I was skeptical too.)

“Do I have to buy anything?”

“No.”

“Do I have to sign up for anything?”

“No.”

“Well what do I have to do?”

“All you have to do is answer a couple demographic questions and come to our Travel Agency office in the city and pick up the tickets in person.”

I figured what could it hurt to hear the questions?  If they got weird I didn’t have to answer, right?  I needn’t have worried.

“Okay, go a head.”

“Are you married?”

“No.”

“Oh.”  Oh?  What do you mean oh? Do you know my grandma??

“Nope, not married.”

“Well, this promotion is only for married people.”  Okay seriously, how much did she pay you to call me?

“Um okay.”

“Do you know any married people you could pass this on to?”

“Yes.”  Just because I have CSS doesn’t mean everyone I know does!

“Okay.”

“You’re sure they don’t have to sign up for anything or buy anything though?” I wasn’t about to join the ring of solicitors. Call me crazy, but I’ve kind of grown used to not being hated by society.

“All they have to do is come to the office in person to pick up the tickets.”

“Well, could I pick them up for them?”

“No.”

“Well I don’t have any local married friends.”

“That’s too bad.” I guess? Hasn’t bothered me thus far...

“Well thanks anyway.”

“I’ll tell you what, since you were so nice to me, I’ll keep your number on file and if we have any future promotions for single women, we’ll call you.”

“Thanks very much, have a good night.” Click.

Riiing, Riiing, Riiing, “Thank you for calling Comcast, may I help you?”

“Yes, I’d like to see about changing my phone number.”

I think I might still need some time to process the “moral of the story.”  But what I do know is that next time I read “Single Woman Seeking Married Couples” in the personals, I won’t be so fast to jump to conclusions.

Xo,
Lauren

today, I was inspired by a pigeon...

Back to school leaves very little time for blogging.... I still owe you a little more of the Ohio trip.... in the interim this will have to tide you over....

So after a bit of a long and unusually hot day, I found myself on the way back to my apartment.  Class had gone well, but I had intended to stop at the Urgent Care to see if they could do something about my sinuses.  It took three unsuccessful trips up and down on the elevator for me to realize the Urgent Care was no longer where it had been before I went home for the summer. Well actually it took someone watching as I pushed Floor 3 several times with nothing happening to ask if I was lost, then direct me to the front desk with the new location of the Urgent Care... Turns out it had moved several blocks.

As that plan went up in smoke, I gave up, went back to school to fill out some paper work, grabbed a few necessities from Walgreens along with some take out from New Mings, and made my way to the school shuttle stop. Yesss, I could have walked... but it was another ten blocks and it was hotttt, so I succumbed to the air conditioning of the shuttle.  Well... I thought I was succumbing to the air conditioning of the shuttle, but once I actually got on and made my way to the only available seat way way way in the back, and sat down, I realized there was no air conditioning.

I finally made it to my stop and was quite eager to get home, when I came across a one footed pigeon hopping along on the sidewalk.  Believe it or not, this pigeon appeared happy.  I know how crazy that sounds, but it was with other pigeons doing pigeon things and it wasn't letting the fact that he or she only had one foot get it down.  I'd like to say I stopped and helped it out, but I was partly in shock and partly fascinated. I did stop myself from taking a picture because I felt that would be crossing some sort of line and definitely not respecting the pigeon.

I know we all get annoyed by pigeons.  I have this one particular memory of being in Disney with my family. Although the details are hazy, I can picture my grandmother's ice cream bar suddenly missing a large portion in the shape of an upside down triangle.  So that was traumatic for everyone involved.  However when you really think about it, I mean really, really think about it, we have it way better than pigeons and we shouldn't be so harsh with them.

And like my pigeon friend, who I've since decided was a male and have named Gus, it is important to not let the big things or the little things stop us from enjoying our lives.  The minute you start thinking about how you're having a bad day, remember there is someone out there having a worse one but making the best of it anyway.

I said before, I couldn't bring myself to take a picture of Gus, but I have since googled a picture of a footless pigeon (well technically this one is missing a leg too), just so you can get an idea of what the little guy was dealing with on the sidewalks of San Francisco.

Xo,
Lauren

... because itchy ears mean it's bedtime ...

Sooo about that blogging thing… looks like it fizzled.  I admit, its hard to spend time on non school things during the semester, but I plan to get better about that… eventually.  For now, I’m just checking in to let you know I’m still breathing. You’ll be happy to hear that by spending time on this blog I am not avoiding school work. In actuality I am avoiding laundry and packing (looks like I’ve come full circle from my first blog ;)

P.S. I have to check blog etiquette, I haven’t figured out if its acceptable to talk about blogging in your actual blog. It kind of seems like reality shows that depict the “real lives” of their stars, but never once on camera do these “stars” mention they are appearing on their own television show once a week. It must not be reality etiquette to talk about these things.

Back to things that matter… (not that I wasn’t thrilled at the return of the Real Housewives of New Jersey last night. (It's always refreshing to observe family drama that makes yours seem like small potatoes.) There are worse vices, but I won’t let reality television be the only focus in two out of my seven postings. (Its looking like not talking about blogging in my blog is going to be difficult.)  Okay you twisted my arm, but just for kicks and just this once....

How easily I am side-tracked. Just the other day, I was studiously doing my school work, and the reading referenced a “karaoke” styled something or other. Before I even knew I wasn’t still  doing homework, I found myself in the middle of a google search for cool karaoke places back home. I must have spent a good half hour on that before I found myself busting out to some of my favorite karaoke songs (mostly Shania Twain) and dancing around my apartment. (no doubt this moment made me a favorite among my fellow tenants)


An hour or so later I found my way back to being studious :)

Speaking of studious, I can't believe how fast this semester has gone by.  I've decided to compile a list of the education I've received these past few months.  This is what I learned...

1. the various conventions specific to individual film genres.

2. how to better analyze the lighting in movies.

3. that I tend to be in a better mood when wearing socks.

4. if I don't go to bed when my ears start itching, I won't wake up feeling rested.

5. Donald Trump is running for president.

6. disney really is real life, ie: the peasant married the prince and the bad guy was killed all in one weekend!

7. President Obama really was born in the United States..... really....  and he has a sense of humor to boot, ie:

8. Donald Trump is NOT running for president.

9. Paris Hilton really is just like us... as we will soon see on her very own reality show.

10. I should have enjoyed The Oprah Show while I had the chance.

11. last but not least how to FINALLY use hair rollers. (I think this is the one I am most proud of, as you may be able to tell from my delighted expression below)

All in all, I can't wait to go home in a couple of days and show my parents their money is being well spent and I am learning much more than they probably anticipated.

Xo,
Lauren

Packing Memories

I am sitting in the middle of my messy room trying to pack to go back to school.  As usual it is the night before I leave, which means I really have no right to complain about this daunting task.  I also have no right to complain on account of while I sit amongst my empty suitcases and boxes, I've decided it must be the absolute perfect time to start a blog. (it was probably good that I switched my flight from this afternoon to tomorrow)

However, I will say the idea of packing (yes, idea, because I havent technically started yet) feels different this time because I am not just leaving for the semester, but for the entire year, maybe longer. (give or take a visit home once in a while) I am moving into my own apartment, and while this new adventure is incredibly exciting, I can't help but be a little sad and nostalgic.  Instead of packing stuff to get me through the semester, I feel like I am packing memories to get me through the year.

It makes me think of the very first time I left to go to college in Rochester.  Come to think of it, that was a "night before" packing adventure as well.  I can remember the packing list.  Im pretty sure it was sent out by the school to all incoming freshmen.  On it were the must brings, the maybe brings, and the definitely don't brings.  Of course, these were open to interpretation :)

I wish I had that list now.  Over the years obviously it has changed a great deal.  I no longer need to have every purse, item of clothing, and book I own, with me. I've also come to the realization that it really isnt that big of a deal to buy my shampoo, toothpaste, and other such necessities upon arriving at my destination.  Most significantly, all my electronic devices have shifted from the must brings to the maybe brings and of course my Bible has made the exact opposite switch.  If it comes down to forgetting something instead of freaking out, I make a quick mental note to have my parents send it to me in the near future.

I think the most significant difference as I sit around looking at my stuff is the realization that it is indeed just stuff.  I don't need to pack every single belonging in order to keep the memory attached to it.  Not that I don't expect to have an occasional relapse, but in those instances I'll remind myself I'll have better luck weighing my luggage at the airport if I just pack the memories.

xo,
Lauren