Run Buddha Run!

It's a well-known fact that people love to stand on the streets of San Francisco and pass pamphlets and advertisements out to those of us innocently trying to actually use the sidewalk to get from one place to another (crazy notion, I know). As many who've come before me, I've learned the best way to avoid this this little dance is to make sure the headphones are in and eye contact is not made. The two, very simple acts have served me well during my 4+ years in the city... until yesterday, but you knew that was coming right?

I was on my way to the post office (what happened once I got there is a story for a different day) minding my own business and invoking my avoidance method of choice. However as I continued on my way, I could see a Buddhist monk holding little papers in his hand, sharing a smile with all who passed. A monk? Really? I felt my determined city strut begin to waver. You can't just ignore a monk. I mean I didn't have to talk to him, but surely a smile wouldn't cost me anything. I still had my headphone line of defense, so I knew I didn't have to worry about an attempted conversion ;)

As I neared the man, I knew he had me in his sights. I knew this because he ran right up to me, almost blocking my path. I could now see it was a pile of Buddha stickers he was holding in his hand. The headphones stayed in, so all I saw was him smile and his lips mouthing the word,"hello." He then placed a sticker in my hand. I smiled back, my heart now warming to the fact that I didn't just walk by this kind man without acknowledging him. I'm not Buddhist but I mean who doesn't want a Buddha sticker and why wouldn't I show this man kindness by graciously accepting his gift? I thanked him for the sticker motioned I was in a hurry and continued quickly on my way.

I got only as far as the corner when I heard something like shouting behind me. The earphones came out and I turned around in time to see the Buddhist monk half walking half running down the sidewalk to catch up to me, arms flailing, all the while shouting "Donation, donation!" I had a sneaking suspicion that "hello" and "donation" were the only two English words he knew. Darnit! I was so close. He's probably not even a real monk, I thought. Alas, I smiled and said "I'm sorry I don't have any cash" (which this time, was the truth) and attempted to go on my way, all the while hoping that no one had just seen me get chased down the street by a Buddhist monk.

Before I could turn all the way around, however, said Buddhist monk ripped the Buddha sticker out of my hand, gave me the evil eye, and walked away. I was left standing in the middle of the sidewalk dumbstruck hoping and praying that no one just saw what probably looked a Buddhist monk chasing down the girl who just tried to steal from him.

I walked away from this experience with two thoughts. The first: my headphone/no eye contact method clearly needs tweaking. The second: it's good I don't believe in karma because who knows what that monk has in mind for the girl who tried to steal his Buddha sticker...

Xo,
Lauren