just because it’s illegal, doesn’t make it a bad idea!

Disclaimer #1: Don’t get to excited by the title, no jail worthy crimes were actually committed.

Disclaimer #2: This is only Part I, even if you don’t find it interesting you have now committed yourself to sticking around for Parts II & III.


So without further ado..

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it” and as they say, life is what you make of it. It can be enjoyable regardless of whether you’re at a private celebrity packed post Oscar party or a ten hour car ride with your sister.  In the interest of not hurting anyone’s feelings I am not going to reveal which one I’d secretly rather be in attendance for :)

Two weeks ago I drove my sister, Nora back to Ohio for her senior year of college. Wellll, technically SHE drove us :) The drive went by too quickly and we literally counted down, by the mile, to the official end of our summer vacation.  After a couple stops and a bit of traffic, our seven hour car ride quickly turned into ten and yet still seemed not quite long enough.

We headed out Friday around noon in the King Ranch (courtesy of our dad). Skies were blue, country tunes were playing on The Highway on Sirius XM, and the navigation system had our complete trust (but only after we realized it wasn’t taking us in a circle as we had originally thought).


After stocking up and spending five minutes wondering why a guy would need to bring a horse to a gas station, it was time to return to the open road.  “We” drove on for a couple hundred more miles and sang out of tune to a few dozen more songs before we hit stand still traffic. Solution: abandon the thruway for the back roads!

Side note: When traffic started to slow down, we passed this ridiculous woman in the picture on the right.  She was texting like she was on the floor at the stock exchange handling millions of dollars, not driving her car on a jam-packed thruway!!!! The semi behind her kept having to hit his breaks, so of course I needed a few snapshots! Strike one for humanity.



Attempt one of "abandon thruway" failed as by the time we illegally rode the shoulder to the exit, traffic had picked back up and we changed our minds.  Unfortunately we were tricked and just on the other side of the overpass we hit worse traffic than before.  What to do? We just passed the only exit for the next several miles and we were moving at a rate of one five feet every ten minutes. Solution: Ride the other shoulder illegally to make an illegal u-turn through the grass, all the while keeping our fingers crossed that there were no cops lurking nearby.  And if there were, the car that did it ahead of us would be the one to get caught!

Operation “turn around” was successful and we finally had the opportunity to make Rodney Atkins proud by ditching the “backed-up traffic” to “tear down some two lane country" roads.

After miles of farms, charming no name towns, and several more strained vocal chords, we returned to the hustle and bustle of the thruway, with just a little over two hours left to go.

So back to my issues with humanity. I’m saddened the way people are trying to take God out of this country. Thank goodness He sticks around regardless :) My point is that humanity redeemed itself ever so slightly when we saw the below sign standing proud next to the thruway.

But as the saying goes, “The Lord giveth and He taketh away”... and humanity has some more work to do because this is what we saw next:

How is THAT not a seat-belt violation?  Strike Two!

This part of the story ends with us arriving safely at our destination, unpacking half of the car, and sharing a pizza before crashing in our hotel. Stay tuned for Part II which includes a retina damaging picture from Walmart...

Happy Labor Day!

Xo,
Lauren