today, I was inspired by a pigeon...

Back to school leaves very little time for blogging.... I still owe you a little more of the Ohio trip.... in the interim this will have to tide you over....

So after a bit of a long and unusually hot day, I found myself on the way back to my apartment.  Class had gone well, but I had intended to stop at the Urgent Care to see if they could do something about my sinuses.  It took three unsuccessful trips up and down on the elevator for me to realize the Urgent Care was no longer where it had been before I went home for the summer. Well actually it took someone watching as I pushed Floor 3 several times with nothing happening to ask if I was lost, then direct me to the front desk with the new location of the Urgent Care... Turns out it had moved several blocks.

As that plan went up in smoke, I gave up, went back to school to fill out some paper work, grabbed a few necessities from Walgreens along with some take out from New Mings, and made my way to the school shuttle stop. Yesss, I could have walked... but it was another ten blocks and it was hotttt, so I succumbed to the air conditioning of the shuttle.  Well... I thought I was succumbing to the air conditioning of the shuttle, but once I actually got on and made my way to the only available seat way way way in the back, and sat down, I realized there was no air conditioning.

I finally made it to my stop and was quite eager to get home, when I came across a one footed pigeon hopping along on the sidewalk.  Believe it or not, this pigeon appeared happy.  I know how crazy that sounds, but it was with other pigeons doing pigeon things and it wasn't letting the fact that he or she only had one foot get it down.  I'd like to say I stopped and helped it out, but I was partly in shock and partly fascinated. I did stop myself from taking a picture because I felt that would be crossing some sort of line and definitely not respecting the pigeon.

I know we all get annoyed by pigeons.  I have this one particular memory of being in Disney with my family. Although the details are hazy, I can picture my grandmother's ice cream bar suddenly missing a large portion in the shape of an upside down triangle.  So that was traumatic for everyone involved.  However when you really think about it, I mean really, really think about it, we have it way better than pigeons and we shouldn't be so harsh with them.

And like my pigeon friend, who I've since decided was a male and have named Gus, it is important to not let the big things or the little things stop us from enjoying our lives.  The minute you start thinking about how you're having a bad day, remember there is someone out there having a worse one but making the best of it anyway.

I said before, I couldn't bring myself to take a picture of Gus, but I have since googled a picture of a footless pigeon (well technically this one is missing a leg too), just so you can get an idea of what the little guy was dealing with on the sidewalks of San Francisco.

Xo,
Lauren

just because it’s illegal, doesn’t make it a bad idea!

Disclaimer #1: Don’t get to excited by the title, no jail worthy crimes were actually committed.

Disclaimer #2: This is only Part I, even if you don’t find it interesting you have now committed yourself to sticking around for Parts II & III.


So without further ado..

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it” and as they say, life is what you make of it. It can be enjoyable regardless of whether you’re at a private celebrity packed post Oscar party or a ten hour car ride with your sister.  In the interest of not hurting anyone’s feelings I am not going to reveal which one I’d secretly rather be in attendance for :)

Two weeks ago I drove my sister, Nora back to Ohio for her senior year of college. Wellll, technically SHE drove us :) The drive went by too quickly and we literally counted down, by the mile, to the official end of our summer vacation.  After a couple stops and a bit of traffic, our seven hour car ride quickly turned into ten and yet still seemed not quite long enough.

We headed out Friday around noon in the King Ranch (courtesy of our dad). Skies were blue, country tunes were playing on The Highway on Sirius XM, and the navigation system had our complete trust (but only after we realized it wasn’t taking us in a circle as we had originally thought).


After stocking up and spending five minutes wondering why a guy would need to bring a horse to a gas station, it was time to return to the open road.  “We” drove on for a couple hundred more miles and sang out of tune to a few dozen more songs before we hit stand still traffic. Solution: abandon the thruway for the back roads!

Side note: When traffic started to slow down, we passed this ridiculous woman in the picture on the right.  She was texting like she was on the floor at the stock exchange handling millions of dollars, not driving her car on a jam-packed thruway!!!! The semi behind her kept having to hit his breaks, so of course I needed a few snapshots! Strike one for humanity.



Attempt one of "abandon thruway" failed as by the time we illegally rode the shoulder to the exit, traffic had picked back up and we changed our minds.  Unfortunately we were tricked and just on the other side of the overpass we hit worse traffic than before.  What to do? We just passed the only exit for the next several miles and we were moving at a rate of one five feet every ten minutes. Solution: Ride the other shoulder illegally to make an illegal u-turn through the grass, all the while keeping our fingers crossed that there were no cops lurking nearby.  And if there were, the car that did it ahead of us would be the one to get caught!

Operation “turn around” was successful and we finally had the opportunity to make Rodney Atkins proud by ditching the “backed-up traffic” to “tear down some two lane country" roads.

After miles of farms, charming no name towns, and several more strained vocal chords, we returned to the hustle and bustle of the thruway, with just a little over two hours left to go.

So back to my issues with humanity. I’m saddened the way people are trying to take God out of this country. Thank goodness He sticks around regardless :) My point is that humanity redeemed itself ever so slightly when we saw the below sign standing proud next to the thruway.

But as the saying goes, “The Lord giveth and He taketh away”... and humanity has some more work to do because this is what we saw next:

How is THAT not a seat-belt violation?  Strike Two!

This part of the story ends with us arriving safely at our destination, unpacking half of the car, and sharing a pizza before crashing in our hotel. Stay tuned for Part II which includes a retina damaging picture from Walmart...

Happy Labor Day!

Xo,
Lauren

"Pat-Down" Room

Glad to say I made it safely home to San Francisco yesterday, albeit a bit of a rocky start. After checking my bags and obtaining my boarding pass, I was relieved to see there was no one in line for security. This relief would be short lived. I took notice of the new scanners in place and different security measures that I was not yet used to. One of which was the hand swipe. At first, I did not completely understand the point of this, however I would soon find out as I failed the test and a little alarm went off.

Now, being a seasoned traveller, I thought I handled myself pretty well when this happened… but that didn’t keep the reel from playing in my head… me getting picked up by airport security, missing my plane, having to call my parents and tell them I was under suspicion of carrying chemical weapons on the plane… you get the idea. As much as it would have spiced up my blog, I was not looking forward to crossing “getting arrested by airport security” off my bucket list quite yet.

My luggage was scanned and then pulled apart.  I tried really hard not to laugh as the security man carefully examined the butt of my stuffed dog.  Eventually my luggage and I were taken into custody and I was informed they were taking me to a private room for the infamous “pat-down.” Oh joy.  I was escorted by two women to a small room off the side of the security section.  I’ll save you details but I will say it would have been a heck of a lot less awkward if the lady hadn’t been announcing the process. “I’m going to touch you here… now here… you’re going to feel my hand … here.” Seriously? I mean I get why they have to do that, but its all a little freaky.  Not to mention the “back-up” lady whose staring us down while all of this is taking place “to limit lawsuits of course.” I honestly can’t understand how anyone could ever be comfortable being in porn. Sheesh!

I was asked what I did for a living (upside: this meant I came across as employable) and what I had done all day.  Now my family can account for my awful memory, but to the average stranger it may have appeared as if I was making up my story.  They asked me if I had done anything unusual today. I said no, and preceded to recount my day.  Last minute packing, drive through at the bank, UPS (shoot, shouldn’t have said that, now they’re going to think I was shipping bombs), and picked up lunch (that they had to believe because it was still sitting wrapped up in my carry-on).

Then a light bulb went off and I may have said “Oh!” just a little too loudly for such a small room. I told them I had used my sister’s hair smoothing oil that morning.  Then I didn’t know if that was a mistake too.  While I know my sister isn’t carrying around chemical bomb ingredients(although there IS that suspicious black backpack she brings everywhere ;) I didn’t know if that was the real cause, and if not, I may have just unintentionally made my sister a person of interest. (I swear my thoughts sometimes travel at the speed of light).

I was thinking about how I would get her out of this (and how much fake passports would cost) when the voyeur, I mean the back up woman, left the room and came back and said I was clear and free to go.  They replied it was just my hands that had set off the alarm. I wanted to reply. “Well too bad I’m not going without them,” but alas my parent’s raised me right and I accepted this was neither the place or time to “get fresh.” I was content with their unofficial confirmation that it was my hands and the only thing of question they had come into contact with was my sister’s hair product!

Once I was cleared of harboring any kind of chemical bomb on my person or in my luggage I was free to go.  Nervous that this little delay would interfere with my boarding on time and selecting primo seating (Southwest all the way!) I quickly rushed for my gate.  I caused minimal hazard as I began checking text messages while I hurried through the airport (thank you moving sidewalks) however, I discovered my flight was delayed 35 minutes. Bummer (but not the end of the world). I preceded to grab some much needed plane necessities… bottled water, gum, and Excedrin which although a last minute decision, practically proved my prophetic abilities as the nonstop plane people chatter gave me a headache mid-trip.

My “let’s keep going” attitude almost left me when these purchases totaled exactly $9.11 (really??), but I managed to keep hold of it, continued on my way to the gate and settled in to wait for my plane.  If there was ever a day NOT to get on a plane…. but fortunately for me (and my parents who had already generously purchased my airfare) I don’t believe in coincidences or bad luck : )

Xo,
Lauren

... because itchy ears mean it's bedtime ...

Sooo about that blogging thing… looks like it fizzled.  I admit, its hard to spend time on non school things during the semester, but I plan to get better about that… eventually.  For now, I’m just checking in to let you know I’m still breathing. You’ll be happy to hear that by spending time on this blog I am not avoiding school work. In actuality I am avoiding laundry and packing (looks like I’ve come full circle from my first blog ;)

P.S. I have to check blog etiquette, I haven’t figured out if its acceptable to talk about blogging in your actual blog. It kind of seems like reality shows that depict the “real lives” of their stars, but never once on camera do these “stars” mention they are appearing on their own television show once a week. It must not be reality etiquette to talk about these things.

Back to things that matter… (not that I wasn’t thrilled at the return of the Real Housewives of New Jersey last night. (It's always refreshing to observe family drama that makes yours seem like small potatoes.) There are worse vices, but I won’t let reality television be the only focus in two out of my seven postings. (Its looking like not talking about blogging in my blog is going to be difficult.)  Okay you twisted my arm, but just for kicks and just this once....

How easily I am side-tracked. Just the other day, I was studiously doing my school work, and the reading referenced a “karaoke” styled something or other. Before I even knew I wasn’t still  doing homework, I found myself in the middle of a google search for cool karaoke places back home. I must have spent a good half hour on that before I found myself busting out to some of my favorite karaoke songs (mostly Shania Twain) and dancing around my apartment. (no doubt this moment made me a favorite among my fellow tenants)


An hour or so later I found my way back to being studious :)

Speaking of studious, I can't believe how fast this semester has gone by.  I've decided to compile a list of the education I've received these past few months.  This is what I learned...

1. the various conventions specific to individual film genres.

2. how to better analyze the lighting in movies.

3. that I tend to be in a better mood when wearing socks.

4. if I don't go to bed when my ears start itching, I won't wake up feeling rested.

5. Donald Trump is running for president.

6. disney really is real life, ie: the peasant married the prince and the bad guy was killed all in one weekend!

7. President Obama really was born in the United States..... really....  and he has a sense of humor to boot, ie:

8. Donald Trump is NOT running for president.

9. Paris Hilton really is just like us... as we will soon see on her very own reality show.

10. I should have enjoyed The Oprah Show while I had the chance.

11. last but not least how to FINALLY use hair rollers. (I think this is the one I am most proud of, as you may be able to tell from my delighted expression below)

All in all, I can't wait to go home in a couple of days and show my parents their money is being well spent and I am learning much more than they probably anticipated.

Xo,
Lauren